Tribute to Marina Santana Garza

i have nothing to say

Good morning Mom.

life is good as it can get at this time you know the New President half the world dose not care for him the other half not sure but some stand behind as others stand across from him..think it has been like that for centuries..getting ready for work did not sleep very well thinking of Dad..I know you said he was going t be fine and was not ready to be laying down…reckon you both lived a hard life..I know mom you beat yourself in your last days on this earth…I think that is not a healthy way of life..well need to get finish dressing for work…small head ache but could be lack of sleep…watch over dad and Irene..Mom asked the lord to give her strength for she will need it…talk at you later…I remember you saying that Dad will be able to handle want ever is given to him.. as he said he lived a long life…

talk at you later…

Thanks for making a sound to me, I am glad you came around..as you know I was smiling when you show up today….just the first note of the song we chose I start to smile…dose who are reading this, tears show up on my cheek one or two just a happy feeling to have around..needed mom….thank you again have a great evening look over your youngest grand daughter help her find her way and have peace in her heart as well as her mind…put one or two and I will add a couple to…tell the ones I love a hug for me…so young so hard to feel for them…

Mom you were in my dream last night or early this morning not sure of the time..it was as you were sitting next to me for i  fell a sleep in the recliner.. talking to me and explain to tell my brother and sister to not worry about dad that he will be fine just getting older..old age will get to him before anything else..the wreck he had was a sign to quit driving …was you here or not ..

think you were for when I woke up today I heard your song that we all choose for your awake (Leticia chose it we agree) so in my heart I know you were near…

love you mom be back sooner than you think..

love you Mom

the summer officially ended yesterday, so with that thought in mind it seem that it has gotten up to the eighties today….which is nice, mornings are little cooler which is about right…my pain has increased since they drop my Lyrical for it was messing with my vision..it sure help with the constant pain that I have and now I hurt twice as before.. was off today sure cannot function as before, the bottom of my feet hurt when I wake up and speaking of waking up,,,I am not sleeping as I did before…mom sometimes I wish I never left or should of gone west to Montana, oh well not that Scott dose not treat me well for he dose and always make sure that I am happy and cared for…still will not let me drink thought of doing that this passed weekend but he stop it just some thing to ease the pain up,,,but I sure cannot go to work drunk so that is not the solution . I need to work I have bills that are not Scott my School Loan for my BA degree, which did not help me because as soon as I took it off my resume I got call for jobs. I just left my Associate Degree on there…I guess I can say my education is there but no jobs will accept it for they are afraid that you will not stay at that job…oh yea they (Pharmaceutical Company)

re formula the medication I was taking and have been for nine years dose not work anymore.( damn druggies)   so now they switch me to another medication and we will see if that works….anyway I have the new one and I just took it so now I am waiting for it to kick in and help me motivate..The Good Lord might or not, actually the girls at my doctors office had to do a prior for this new medication and the insurance told me two to three days I cannot do that I don to want to go through with drawn..done that been there no more for me…so they approve it today…anyway it all worked out…we will see…mom the pain is so intensified that  I have not slept…the cramps for the last three to four days have woke me up from a dead sleep…the Lyrics dose not work for me it did but effected my vision which is not good,,,been about nine months but I did not need the other pain med when I was taking that it help so much and now I cannot take it…

I will come back been awhile since I have been on…tell me mom that you are near could use some understanding of this world we live in….

 Good evening Mom, it is around 8:25  PM (to be exact).

The temp is 79 degree, was a hot one down here in Ohio…so how has it been going. My sister and niece (Kellie) came by yesterday…It was a nice visit and actually  I had a good day all day after they left…  You know mom I learn something with all of us talking about the past, future and today. We had coffee except for Kellie she had juice…She is a beautiful young women and did not know she was 30 years old and of course she dose not look thirty think we were born with younger look then want we are…. As I told Irene to tell daddy was we are living and learning of one another. Because we do not know one another and thoughts have been put in our head of each other from the family..( Great family huh :). So now we know want we have heard is not true and we need to learn of one another and realize want we have been told was not true….It is not going to be easy but yet life is not easy, do not care how much or how little  we have…. Gave Kellie some boots and a fall coat…she will have to get a heavier coat before winter hits. I did ask her if she was staying  cause if she is not staying then I want my stuff back cause I can use them but will not miss them for I get jackets and boots every Christmas either from myself, my Mother in Law or Scott….It is not like I need them…I will go through my clothes and let her know except the jeans or dress paints are in the sizes of 0 to seven or five depending on the style too. I do hope she stays to get her life together you know mom I remember family even my husband (Scott) say that I am running. I do not see that way it is I am leaving because it is easier to get on with my life away from the problem instead being around the problem…Think she knows if there is anything I can do i will try to help…Her Mommy is going to care for her and help her out too….Also let her know her Mom loves her very much and do not give shit want the family says…the past is gone and need to move on. She knows she needs help mentally and needs to speak with someone and it is not the family. This is not a bad thing it actually is a good step forward. … So Mom if you can say good word with the Lord up there to give my sister and my niece a little help with patient with one another….We are speaking again, her and Scott do not like each other and that is okay, but Scott knows this is my sister and the reason I came here is cause you ask me too! So she can have family next to her…She did make me laugh when she stated the “my way or the high way” lol…(this means laugh out loud)…Sounds like my husband is back from riding, Chat with you later/

So much for that now let me tell you about work.  There was two girls that try to get me fired and did not work. As the bosses wife (Gerrie)  said they do not care want I do out side of the job but want I do on the inside of my job…And they say my work is very good and I know want I am doing…I enjoy want I do which is medical billing and actually I am cross train, Medical /Dental coding…Bring in the money….

One of the girls got let go about seven maybe longer, not sure  and do not care…My motto is I am here to do a job and not to make friends. I f I make friends then great if not then that is okay too! 

Had my surgery on July 7, 2010 John’s birthday…the surgery went well as if you did not know..(that sentence made me chuckle out loud, don’t worry I am alone) Scott we on a bike ride…I cannot ride for awhile due to the surgery. It was  a clean surgery and the therapy is coming along good too and I think I have you and the Lord to Thank…So I thank you both and for the blessing coming my way…

Love you Mom

your middle child…

Mom, how are you good I would think.  Not sure where I should start, let see at the end of last year the renter actually it was when Linda moved out in June of 2009. We started with renters whom seen to move  more  than. So two bad renters and left us with utilities that were suppose to change in. Mom I am following a sleep so I think I will sign off for the night

this the day i fell and was scare mom, i thought my neck was mess up sgain. kinda hard totype with one hand and get the spelling right. mom wish i could call and here your voice. it would be easier than trying to type. love ya mom i will be back and dad i am sure he will be alright.  we should know something soon. he forgets but he forgot things before when i was younger. mmm but now it could br serious/ later mom

i just got off the phone with dad and i guess you know that he was told they found spots on his kidneys i just don’t know what to say mom i am lost for words, sometimes i can see other times i am blind i have missed you everyday the talks that we had on the phone and stuuf we would talk about lol, i am very sad about dad and i have no idea what to say to him when i hung up the phone i began to cry and then i came to this place to write things and i guess feel a bit of peace here not sure . i will be planning a trip down to texas soon and god knows i do not want to go by my self not what happen the last time i was there what a night mare that was ( shaking my head in a no way )i hope this time one of my sons go with me or even maybe mark will be able to take off for a week . i hope dad will get some type of good news soon , i know he is old and has lived a hard life but i just don’t want him in pain like i did not want you in .the the world turns is not just a show but is also a way of life . i will talk later love you mom

Well, how do I begin: not sure how to say it or how to write it which comes first…The days have been nice except for the bad storm we had on Saturday night was awaken with a loud thunder and bright lights lite up the town…Tornado’s were coming down strong on North West Ohio they lost five people to these storms..remeber when you lived in Crosby Texas..that was a nice place out there. Think though you, Leticia  think she had two or three of her kids not sure who else lived out there but think you had family across the street not sure was not kin to me so reckon it did not matter to me (that is rued.) Anyway I remember just got back to Texas from Montana and my son had passed on to the good Lords hands as you are now…Anyway we were in the car a friend of mine think it was Nancy Laurie at that time…anyway we had to pull  over